Empty Words

If I’m gonna be honest I’m scared to tell it all.
If I let go of my secrets will I have anything at all?
If I’m gonna be honest transparency’s my god.
But I keep all of these secrets to make it seem like I’m not lost.
I’m not lost.
This is the lie I tell myself and this is the reason that I’m still here.
Weighed down by the guilt of it all when every confession is insincere.
I know, I know it all too well but I keep going back because at least I’ll have
a story to tell.
I have a story to tell.
But I’m still dirtier than I thought I’d ever be.
I keep hiding from the cross cause deep down I don’t want to be free.
I wanna hold on to this darkness; scream it loud so I am heard.
If I’m gonna be honest, it’s the same song I just rearrange the words.
I’ve been too scared to move past,
To move past everything I’ve done.
The devil that I know is better than the one I don’t.
I know it all too well,
This is not the story that I want to tell.
Cause I’m still dirtier than I thought I’d ever be.
I keep hiding from the cross cause deep down I don’t want to be free.
I wanna hold on to this darkness;
Scream it loud so I am heard.
If I’m gonna be honest, it’s the same song I just rearrange the words.
This is the only way I know how to cope;
Just grit my teeth and bare it all.
This is the only way I know how to feel,
So I stay put to keep these stories real.
I know there’s been truth in the things I’ve sought.
And I’ve screamed transparency,
But I’m all talk.