Killing to Live

If I keep lying down
I always thought that I could figure out
Why do I keep lying down?
Why do I keep lying?
It scares me, It scares me now just to think
You’re not the one holding my hand
If you’d shut your eyes you’d understand
The shell of a boy but the mind of an asylum man
Its crazy to think I might come home dead
But if I keep too optimistic I fear I might turn out like I said
Its just that a good day for me consists of taking the shot
The «almighty» at the mercy of my tar black heart
Listen to me now. Thats a start
Its night that makes me feel like a giant walking in
a tiny parade filled with my closest friends
And they all look at me with horror and discontent
«Hows this the same man we knew back then?»
If I keep lying down
I always thought that I could figure out
Why do I keep lying down?
Why do I keep lying?
And now I find myself secluded at the top of a mountain
Its a simple opportunity
I finally had a chance to regroup and breathe
But then out of the mist came a man in green
I put one in his chest without hesitating
I woke up in I’m bed and my hands were shaking
And this is why everyone isn’t cut out for this life
cause hadn’t have been him than it would’ve been I
And I hate to say it but it is a «kill to live» world sometimes
Its these dreams that torment me and allow for no release
and people I call friends won’t talk to me lately
Call me dramatic but I think I am going crazy
How do these other men remain so calm innately?
If I keep lying down
I always thought that I could figure out
Why do I keep lying down?
Why do I keep lying?