Ego Death

I know I got a ego
Must be something in my brain
If I didn’t, I’d probably go insane
I’m sorry I’m an asshole
That’s just how the raps go
Sorry that I do this shit everyday
What? Yeah, I’m on my ego death
I had to reassess, I had to resurrect, yeah
Huh, hey, huh, I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess, is that why I’m feelin' less?
Yeah, huh, my songs are bipolar like Ye, huh (Huh), they think they controlling
my fate, uh (Ooh, yeah)
Cut all the chatter, no, y’all are not rappers, you just some ad-libbers like, «Ayy,» huh (For real)
I just pulled up, back in black, drop a hit, they react to that (Ooh, huh)
Now they see this and they acting mad (Yeah), like I’m Kanye in a MAGA hat, yeah
I’m so alone, see, I’ve always been one and only
Even back when this gold chain was made out of macaroni
Now they always askin' me, what happened to the old me?
I wish I could’ve told him goodbye, wish he had known me (Yeah)
Wish that I could tell you 'bout how everyone would know you (Uh-huh)
And tell you it’s worth it, despite everything they told you
Cryin' silent in your pillow sayin', «I wish I was homeschooled» (Yeah)
Too afraid to sing your songs because you thought that they would roast you,
yeah
I was nine, friends told me I would go lose (They did)
Now it’s time I think I gotta show you (Think I gotta show you)
That’s my mind, say I don’t care, but I so do
Having trouble walkin' up a mile in my own shoes
Never used to bet on me and now they like, «I owe you»
Lookin' back at them like, «The fuck? I do not know you»
When I make a milli', mo’fucker, I’ma show you
What I had to go through to feel like I’m supposed to
Ego, I don’t need no
Other people in my trio
Myself, I and me, though, we know
We don’t need no kilos, my watch frio
Yeah
I’m on my ego death
But I let it breathe again, yeah, I let it resurrect
Yeah, uh (Yeah)
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess, is that why I’m feelin' less? Yeah (Yeah)
On the way, all okay, only a call away, feeling like a god on my Charlemagne
(Huh?)
I really think they want my presence, like a holiday (Yeah), but I think I need
to learn when to walk away (I do)
Man, I got so many problems, but I wanna stay without acknowledgin' how often I
have gone astray (Yeah)
First step is denial, but I’m over that
And I’ve accepted it already, but it holds me back, yeah, back, yeah
Slurring my words I been moving too fast, yeah (Okay), fast, yeah
Maybe I don’t wanna share it like that, yeah (Uh), that’s facts, yeah
I need to stop checking all of the stats, like that, like that, yeah, ayy (Yeah)
I’m on my ego death
I had to reassess, I had to resurrect, yeah
Huh, hey, huh, I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess, is that why I’m feelin' less? Yeah
I got fourty-thousand comments this week
At least five-thousand said that I should kill myself, I’m a freak
I’m too weak, I’m a leech, and all my music fuckin' sucks, I’m a geek
I’m everythin' they want me to be and that’s the problem with me
So when they say you got a ego, tell 'em, «Thank the fuckin' Lord»
'Cause if you didn’t, you’d be suffering, you’d be stuck there on the floor
with nothin' more
At least I’m out here smilin' in the quicksand
Take your head out of that pillow, one day, you gon' be the big man
Yeah
In the dark
I stare into mirrors for hours
Until I can’t recognize myself
A dissonant reflection
Both a sober and a sobering hallucination