Rum Phonics

He says erotic, he means erratic
His tongue is tied, his brain is full of static
He’s an educated man, but when a drink’s in his hand
He speaks a language you can’t understand
A little bit of rum will not make you numb
It’s not surprising, nor is it ironic
When you’ve had too much to drink
It makes it hard to think
And you’ll find yourself speaking rum phonics
He says tarbender, he means bartender
His speech tells you his mind is in a blender
He’s a musical man, he sings along with the band
In a language you can’t understand
A little bit of rum will not make you numb
It’s not surprising, nor is it ironic
When you’ve had too much to drink
It makes it hard to think
And you’ll find yourself speaking rum phonics
Instrumental
Bridge
He really likes his rum
And a good conversation or two
Take some advice from me
If he turns and starts talking to you
And says, Hey there, it’s good to know ya
Then he buys you a rum and coca-cola
I do not say this in jest
Here’s how you’ll know you’re a mess
You understand every word that he says
A little bit of rum will not make you numb
It’s not surprising, nor is it ironic
When you’ve had too much to drink
It makes it hard to think
And you’ll find yourself speaking rum phonics
When you’ve had too much to drink
It makes it hard to think
And you’ll find yourself speaking rum phonics