I Turned into a Human

I was down by the pond sucking on slime
When I felt something grabbing me from behind
I turned around to look and see who had felt the need to bother me
But a set of puckered human lips were all I could see
My limbs started to contort
My warted flesh was peeling from my bones
My body was expanding, assuming its new form
I felt my shape was shifting to a human from a toad
As I looked down at my open palms
For the first time
I couldn’t help but stop to think
For jerking off these will do just fine
Since that kiss turned me into a human I see life differently
Now I need a job to pay my bills and I aim when I go pee
I feel the need to clothe myself when I’m walking down the street
And I know no matter what I do, someday I’m gonna die