My Pub

I’ve been going t’same pub fer twenty year
It were half a crown then fer buy me beer
But they closed it down fer redecorate
They said we’ll knock a wall down
Change bar round
Paint door brown
It’s going to look great
When I walked into it I couldn’t believe me eyes
Every cunt had a shirt and tie
Mirrored walls and daft plastic trees
It were a fun pub disco
Wine bar bistro
Gay club puff house
Cocktail carvary
So I walked to the bar fer to get me ale
She said Tetly Bitter’s not for sale
They had fizzy lager with a German name
I said you’ve got to be joking
I started choking, me voice were croaking
I turned round
Then a penguin grabbed me fer to throw me out
He said you’ve got to dress like a twat end to get in now
But I’ve been served in here for twenty years
Now it’s a fun pub disco
Wine bar bistro
Gay club puff house
Cocktail…
Oh what the fuck fuck fuck have they done to me pub
What the fuck fuck fuck have they done to me pub
What the fuck fuck fuck have they done to me pub
Now it’s a fun pub disco
Wine bar bistro
Gay club puff house
Cocktail carvery