You Never Stay

A constant state of half awake
Why can’t I stay? I can’t escape
I hate myself for feeling nothing
No matter what, I stray
I go again and again
And again and again and again
But I can’t stop myself
But what’s the point of all this suffering?
Why do I starve?
Is there comfort to be left in loss?
Does it help to know
That the end is just the end
And that the distance has always been there?
I’m just more aware of how close it is to here
It’s surrounding us when we lie together
And it’s there when I miss your calls
I’m not myself
I feel the change
I’m falling down
Fading away
Why can’t I stay?
I can’t escape
I find myself
Stuck
You say it’s easier down the road
«I know»
But what I’m working towards
I’m building it alone
Because we’re the patient ones
We wait, we wait, we waste, we waste
But what’s the point of deserving days
That you’ll never claim?