Everything Happens to Me

I make a date for golf and you can bet your life it rains
I try to give a party and the guy upstairs complains
I guess I’ll go through life just catching cold and missing trains
Everything happens to me
I never miss a thing
I’ve had the measles and the mumps
And every time I play an ace
My partner always trumps
I guess I’m just a fool who never looks before he jumps
Everything happens to me
At first I thought that you could break this jinx for me
That love would turn the trick to end despair
But now I just can’t fool this head that thinks for me
I’ve mortgaged all my castles in the air
I’ve telegraphed and phoned
I send an airmail special too
Your answer was goodbye
And there was even postage due
I fell in love just once
And then it had to be with you
Everything happens to me
Everything happens to me