18 Years and Counting

Hope for better days
Search for more lies
To make em think im okay
I don’t want to be a burden to you my love
And i don’t think the last words in my head before i sleep should be
I want to die
So when will i ever heal if the memories will never go away
My heart is always dropping
My legs are always trembling
And i feel sick
Sick to my stomach that this is happening to me
But i can’t stop wondering
Did i let this happen
And what does healing look like to you
It’s just different for me
It’s gonna take time
It’s already been 18 years
18 fucking years and i’m still not fucking okay
18 years and counting