No Spin Zone

Now would you rather be the only person in a classroom
With brick humor always spits opinions on the day’s issues
Or in El Paso, Texas with a cowboy hat, shooting at Mexicans
My bad, that’s a dumb question, everybody hates new
Make it Shepherd Smith or Chris Matthews, whoever you like
I’m out with Tim Russert in a bike shop buying tires
Before you guys embark on a twelve-mile ride
So where he prepares to die
On the souls of the villages he caught last night
I had to excuse myself over taking a bite
I hate to be out, like this straight Russian
Got a and notice she’s been fussing
If I show up late she gon' say I owe her something
Not much, but since I hit it she put it on a budget
Now really I was giving it to Nancy Grace
In the face, staring up at her picture frame
On the side was Arianna Huffington and Ann Coulter
Posing like the chicks from that lesbian kiss poster, caption read:
Bipartisan, adequate chuckle as he nutted on her forehead
Harty-har he said, as he walks out the door down the street
Thirty-Rockefeller studio free, he bumped into Keith Olbermann
Told him had a couple openings
Said that she was coming and I’m thinking they were holding
Damn I’m just joking, and here’s five reasons why
Same guy’s a worse person every night
I won’t say his name for the right all cheery
I know him as the culture warrior, or papa bear
Colbert nation throw your hands in the air
Ok, so here, what’s worse
Having to wear Anderson Cooper’s haircut the first
Time you ever meet the girl of your dreams
Or getting stuck with him at a bathhouse steam
That’s an easy one for all the homophobes
And a real hard question for the hopeless romantics
Like wonder if James Carville really grew up
Fantasizing about Mary Matalin in them pant suits
I’ll give it to him
He even stuck my ballot in some GOP box
Good ol' pussy condition of the grand operas
Smash the fur, left the white wig floppy
She said she didn’t mind, me and Bill Maher got stoned
In real time, went to Turk across the scripts with all his bowties
Put ‘em ‘round the eye of the tele-prompters