Everybody's Crutch

I’ve got a timber frame
I’ve got a flabby rubber sole
And a vapid smile that hangs
Atop this twisted wooden pole
I’ll be your proxy spine
I’ll be the scaffold of your pride
And when your ego pines
I’ll be the kickstand at your side
With three cheers, lies and free beer
Hail the god that’s everybody’s crutch
I was her shoulder bolster
Last year’s invaluable new friend
Now she’s been reupholstered
Last year’s disposable old trend
With three cheers, lies and free beer
Hail the god that’s everybody’s crutch