I Was the Knife

I was just seventeen
In your black truck
With my hair in the breeze
When I loved you
I loved you
Then time went on
And I lost myself in us
So I flew overseas
And felt stuck somewhere else
Without you
Without you
But I made some new friends
And we travelled through Europe
Drank and did a lot of drugs
Thinking that we grew up
And the fresh air was good
Until it swallowed me whole
I was still a little too naïve
And easy to mold
That January
I moved out to Boston
And found myself slim
Addicted, and exhausted with
Soul mates who often were
Only mirrors of my demise
I was one more cruel
Day away
From ending my life
Was not full enough
Not even close
Thank god
My mother saved me and
Brought me back home
Cause' that spring was melted butter
And I was the knife
Spreading all the days thin
Atop my frantic mind
So I cut off my hair and
Work the hours to make a living
Once I save enough money
Maybe one day I’ll go swimming
Yes it is hard not to
Think that everything is a dead end
I just do what I can
To feel true love once again