The Secret Law of Attraction

You wish you were another girl
One that was beautiful, unlike the way I feel about you
You wish you didn’t look like you
So maybe men will see you, want to be with you
But I know a secret that isn’t found in books
All you have to know is…
Drunken men will fuck you no matter how you look
Drunken guys will bone you, it’s the secret of drunk jerks
Drunk Mexicans love a big ol' ass
Drunk white guys fuck everything in sight
Drunk Asians want you to touch their dong
Drunk blacks just want to fuck a chick who’s white
Drunken men will fuck you no matter how you look
Drunken guys will bone you, it’s the secret of drunk jerks
Drunken men will nail you, so what you got to lose
Drunken guys will bone you, so don’t go, don’t go spreading the news
Who the fuck are you? I don’t know, but if I’m drunk I’ll probably fuck you.