Your Honor the Asshole

Order in the court.
Mr. Suicide,
you are the epitome of degenerate rebellion,
and that utterly contentious word, «freedom.»
Today however,
the sword of justice shall fall.
For you stand before on charges of:
Disorderly conduct,
Failure to comply with authority,
Radical thinking,
Offensive language,
Disrupting the peace,
Noise pollution,
Conspiracy to start a rebellion
and, to find me… murderer.
Mr. Suicide, how do you plead?
Well, your honor…