Boat Paddle

I felt the ocean breaking over my head
I’m spinning
A constant pressure I can’t fight
I might not make it through the night
the night
the night
the night
I was raised in a state; so much at stake, a slab of meat deteriorating
Muscles are weak, no bone in my back, ligaments slack
Sensations, my insides cave as they rot
Infested in waves, take hold of my marrow and wash it away
No bone in my back, ligaments slack, sensations, my insides cave as they rot
I’m treading water, dreading
the end won’t numb my feeling
I’m calling out to you, I’m begging you for help
Because I’ve been given all the answers and I can’t
even help myself
Yes, I’ve been given all the answers and I can’t
even help myself
I held a glass out in my hands
I made a fist, a consequence
My fingertips are filled with shards
My open palm is filled with blood
A single drop will conjure up unspeakable creatures preserved in the salt
Worse than darkest pools in my mind
They float, suspended
There is no time, no time
I’m treading water, dreading
the end won’t numb my feeling
I’m calling out to you, I’m begging you for help
Because I’ve been given all the answers but I can’t
even help myself
Yes, I’ve been given all the answers and I can’t
even help myself
I curse the god who brought a vision as I cry for help
an island passing and I’m reaching out for help
because I’ve been given all the answers but I can’t
even help myself
Yes, I’ve been given all the answers and I can’t
even help myself