Blackjack

Every night I lie awake, drifting farther away from myself,
I’ll always wonder what made you turn away
I never meant for it to come to this
I lost my everything so I find it in this bottle,
Where it’s empty and its cold,
And now there’s nowhere else to go
Every time I seem to lose my place
I never seem to get a break
When will I learn?
When will I ever learn?
More pills, more fuel,
Fuel the desperate side of me
No pain, no gain,
Isn’t that what they all say?
I take this hand, I play it every time
I dont care, where I end up tonight
I try to find myself, in everything that isn’t good for me
Every night I lie awake hoping to see the other side of me
I know its there, just looking back through its colored world
I know its there
I have seen its face before
Now watch it disappear
I have seen a glimpse of shades,
now close your eyes to rest your sight
not bright nor faded, concentrate
Show your eyes and you’ll see mine
I try to find myself, in everything that isn’t good for me
What would you do, if you had no one left to save you?
If you had no one left?
When we have no one left to save us from the end
Can we believe its not the end?