Three Chords and the Truth

People sing about revolution, people sing about love
They write songs about getting drunk, and they sing about the stars above
People sing about royalty and the man down on the street
But the one thing I never heard a song about yet is beating your meat
And all through the lean times, and in between times, you’ve got to try and
understand
When you can’t get it, might as well admit it, things are well in hand
People will tell you they’re alcoholics; people will tell you they’re gay
Folks will proudly admit to having epileptic fits, and bleaching hair to color
their gray
They will proudly proclaim, they are sick or insane. You can’t hide a hook nose
or club feet
But the one thing I never heard a song about yet is beating your meat
And all through the lean times, and in between times, you’ve got to try and
understand
When you can’t get it, might as well admit it, things are well in hand
The time has come to tell the truth out loud. I sure hope you don’t mind
But pulling your pony won’t make you go crazy. I promise that you won’t go blind
So next time you’re alone, grab ahold of your own, and you’re going to be in
for a treat
Next to a roll in the hay, the second best way, is beating your meat
And all through the lean times, and in between times, you’ve got to try and
understand
When you can’t get it, might as well admit it, things are well in hand