The One Where Ross Bares His Soul

If I had a time machine
I could fix everything
There’d be no more war
No more hunger
No more 24 hour news
I’d never get that parking ticket
Or, live in Phoenix
And question my existence
‘cause I’d have a purpose
I’d know what my worth was
Then again, probably not
Then again, I’d probably just fuck it up worse than it was
I never thought I’d be
Rolling up my sleeves
In the bargain bin at twenty
I could dust myself off
Go get a job
And everything will come up daisies
I could glad hand the yes men
I could stop watch re-runs
I could YouTube how to make sushi
And grow as a person
I’ve forgiven loved ones of trespasses, then carried resentment
I’ve lit a bong with a cigarette on multiple occasions, out of sheer laziness
I’ve hidden things from potential friends in hopes that they’d like me
And I single-handedly dismantled a school government before I hit puberty
I’m not about to offer a proverb about mistakes made
And the good things mistakes can make in their wake
If I could do it all again, the truth is, I’d probably do something different
Because everything I did, I already did, it’s been done, and I’m spoiled
And the scary thing is
I’m probably
Always gonna want more