Arsehole

GIZ A QUID YEAH DAFT CUNT THAT’S RIGHT
‘CAUSE I GOTTA GIVE A QUID TO MY LAST WIFE
WAS A SMITH WITH THE WORDS IN A PAST LIFE
THEN I’M SPILLING INK LIKE A SQUID IN MY LAST LIFE
NOW I’M SHARP AS A BARB ON A CLASS KNIFE
AND I’M BLUNTER THAN DEATH WITH A BRASS SCYTHE
POP THE LID ON YOUR GRANDMOTHERS HASH PIPE
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU’RE WIPING YOUR GRANDFATHERS ASS RIGHT
HE’S A DAFT SPAKKA I’M A CRASS RAPPER
GIZ A GRASS WRAPPER 'CAUSE I’M CLASS
AND ALAS I’VE AMASSED AMBER
BUT IT’S TOO STRONG GIVE IZ TWO BONGS
IT’S BEEN TOO LONG LIKE THE LENGTH OF MY ASS STABBER
GIZ A QUID YEAH DAFT CUNT THAT’S RIGHT
‘CAUSE I’M GONNA PULL A SKID ON MY DAD’S BIKE
AND I’M GONNA NEED A PUNCTURE KIT BECAUSE I’M GUNNING IT
I’M LOVING IT I’M GOOD AT IT BUT DAD BE TALKING SHITE
SO I’M GONNA PUNCH THE KID IN THE HEAD
I’M GONNA PUNCH HIS OTHER SON UNTIL HE’S GOOD AND HE’S DEAD
I’M GONNA PUNCH HIM WITH THE BUNCH OF DICKS I FOUND IN HIS SHED
HE’S GOT IZ UP AND I’M FED
I’VE HAD ENOUGH SO I SAID
«YOU'RE AN ARESHOLE MATE DO YOU KNOW THAT?»
«AYE AND I DON’T CARE SUCK A WHOLE NAD»
I’M SICK OF FUCKING ARSEHOLES LETTING IZ DOWN
YOU THINKING THAT’S COOL WELL I DON’T YOU’RE MAKING IZ FROWN
I CAN’T RELY ON ANYBODY BUT MYSEL' AND MY LASS
AND I WAS GONNA MENTION TONY BUT HE’S DEAD IN THE BATH
DIDN’T TURN UP FOR ‘THE TATTOO' SO I CUT HIM SOME SLACK
BUT THE ROPE I USED TO CHOKE THE CUNT WAS TIGHTER THAN FAT
THAT’S TRAPPED IN SKINNY JEANS
TIGHTER THAN I’M KILLING THESE SYLLABLES
I’M KILLING THESE IMBECILES
I’M FILLING THESE VILLAINS IN
PULLING TRIGGERS LIKE I’M PULLING FINGERS
I’LL BE ONLY FINISHED WHEN MY BANK IS FULL OF FIGURES AND I’VE COLOURED IN
EVERYBODY’S ONLY FUNNY WITH BLOOD
AND EVERYBODY’S GOT A BODY WITH A HOLE IN THE BUTT
AND THAT APOLOGY WAS HOLLOW SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED YOUR FOOT
AND WITH NO COFFEE ON A MORNING I’M A HORRIBLE CUNT BUT
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE
IF YOU LET IZ DOWN ON A PLAN
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE
IF YOU’RE NOT DOWN WITH THE MAN
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE
IF YOU DIVVEN’T (DON'T) DO IT WHEN YOU CAN
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE
WHAT
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE
YEAH
I’M WRITING THESE LYRICS WITH THE END OF A KNIFE
I’M SCRAWLING PORNOGRAPHIC STORIES TO THE END OF MY LIFE
‘CAUSE I’M APPALLING STAB IT ALL INTO THE HEAD OF YOUR WIFE
TO GET THE INK FROM THE EYE SOCKET I’VE GOT IT RIGHT
I’M COMING QUICKER THAN A DICK IN A MINGE
AND THIS PARTICULAR HINGE IS LUBED UP SO I’M STICKING IT IN
I’VE GOT MY BILLY JEANS ON AND I’M FILLING THESE SONGS
WITH THE SINS OF THREE MOM’S SO YOU MIGHT BE MY SON
SHE’S NOT MY LOVER BUT I’M GONNA FUCK HER ANYWAY
AND ANYWAY ON ANY DAY I’VE GOT A GLASS OF HENNY IN THE HEMI
WAIT
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU GOT RID OF THAT CAR
AYE I DID BUT BOUGHT ANOTHER 'CAUSE I’M ‘BOUT TO BE A RAP STAR
AND THIS’N ISN’T GOING THROUGH THE FRONT OF ME HOUSE
'CAUSE THE CONDITION OF MY MISSUS IS MONOGAMY NOW
'CAUSE WE’RE IN HARMONY I HARDLY NEED APOLOGIES NOW
BECAUSE I GOT A B NOW WE’RE USING HONESTY WOW
THE ANIMOSITY IN THIS CITY HONESTLY A BIT SHITTY
MY POLICY IS BITCHES NEED TO FOLLOW ME BUT GET PRETTY
AND I DON’T MEAN THE MAKEUP ON THEIR FACES
I MEAN THEIR SOUL MAKE UP YOU FAKERS SHOULD FACE IT
DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I MAKE PHENOMENAL LYRICS
HOW I’M HOT AS A SKILLET HOW I BOMB IT AND KILL IT
FIND MY WALLET AND FILL IT WITH THE DOLLARS AND SHILLINGS
WHILE I’M TALKING THIS SHIT I PACK A BONG AND THEN HIT IT THAT’S IT
WAKE UP ON A MORNING, PUT THE COFFEE THROUGH THE GRINDER
ONE SHOE ON MY FOOT AND NOW I LOOK TO FIND A
CUP BECAUSE THE KITCHENS A MESS I KNOW THIS ISN’T THE BEST
I’M LOOKING UNDERNEATH THE FRIDGE AND THE REST
AND IF I FIND IT HAVE A COFFEE BLACKER THAN A CROWS NOSE
IF I CANNOT THEN I’LL HAVE TO GAN BACK DOWN TO JOES JOES
SAY I’M NOT IMPRESSED THAT THEY’VE GOT NO AEROPRESS FILTERS
THEY’RE FROM THE AMAZON PRIME LESS THAN AN HOUR DELIVERED
I’VE GOT SOME STICKERS THAT ARE SLICKER THAN RICK
I’VE GOT A STICK IN MY DICK
AND NOW I’M SHAKING IT GIVING ‘EM STICK
I CALM DOWN AFTER A BIT I DID WANK AND A SHIT
I GET TO THANKING ‘EM QUICK BUT THEY DO HAVE TO ADMIT THAT
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE BUT I WAS RIGHT
YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLE RIGHT JOHN YOU TALK SHITE