All the While

Walked in to find everything of mine that you still had neatly on my bed.
Opened the note that you had left saying «I think this is really the end».
All the while, I’m wondering if I’m getting better or I’m getting back at you —
so I’ll pretend it’s working out.
And that’s the hardest part of it…
Because even if I could find a way to fix myself,
I still wouldn’t be what you deserve.
But you still think so.
Woke up more alone than I did the day before, except I’m not alone.
She’s acting as your stand-in even though she doesn’t know it.
All the while, I’m wondering if I’m getting better or I’m getting back at you —
so I’ll pretend it’s working out.
And that’s the hardest part of it…
Because even if I could find a way to fix myself,
I still wouldn’t be what you deserve.
But somehow, you still think so
And that’s the hardest part of it.
When I see your spine show itself through your skin
Or notice suggestions of all of your ribs —
It’s enough to let me know how well you’ve handled this
On your own.