Moodswings To Do About Nothing

I have moodswings so bad i am scared of going out
Go from happy to depressed in twenty minutes and i doubt that i can
Focus even function if i try to go to school
When half my day is crying laying in a pool of my own drool
I hate these days where im frustrated and upset and overwhelmed
Where i am happy then i hate myself and wish that i was dead
Then im excited go out thrifting and then as im walking home
I feel so bad i feel like shit and i just wanna be alone
Tired of trying and slowly detaching
Then randomly smiling and feeling fantastic
Then laying in bed for an hour just staring
Then reading and cleaning and laughing and caring
I hav moodswings so bad that i can’t fathom i am real
I have one too many feelings for just on person to feel
Im so tired i can barely keep my eyes open at best
Yet for 4 hours i lay awake not sleeping in my bed
I spend my money oh so recklessly i dont have self control
And then i feel so bad about it i just wanna stay at home
My one big problem is that i have shit to do i can’t just sleep
The other is i am so energetic i cannot sit still
Frantically browsing the apps on my iphone
Lights my face up like an sos signal: «come home»
I feel so alone but i just wanna fake it we’ll
Pretend i am happy till another moodswing makes it real