Changes Consume Me

It’s a terrible statement but I never let it leave my side. That sickening
realization that I’m done with this fight. Moments kneeling on the bedroom
floor sickened by the entity I had absorbed, no more. I would not let the
self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a precipice a monologue questioning my every
motive. My disaster stricken heart feeling broken, my emotions quoted spilling
out of a broken vase taking the place of what was once your emotion.
Diluted with tears, an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I’m
vocally shook; and I’m tired of telling myself that it’s gonna change.
Taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end. Faulse-hoods predicted my
sinners dictated my every decision.
An exit of sorts seemed logical, cause I thought I could silence this breath.
But contrary to my mindset, I circumvented my threats to silence the demons
singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear, that ending it all is a safe
bet.
Comforting me as I try to manipulate my end. Those moments when I decided I
couldn’t handle this anymore! Pins and needles infected every sensation I had
left!
Feeling like this love I had once found had been torn open and left broken in
the cold -that the seams holding it together ripped open and my flesh tore open
with that is I pray that my breathing would stop.
And as I held those staining memories, I held on so tightly; remembering what
life used to mean. Selfishly ready to embrace the fact that I am weak!
But then I called to you, and I hoped someone would find me; and I found you,
and I had hoped someone would call me! Cause I’m listening to these echoes of
my own voice leaving damage in the cold, as I feel I have finally grown to the
point where I can snap. A point of knowing I could never go back…
And it’s in the moments I felt most alone. That I told myself no one was there
for me; and little did I know, love with sitting right beside me,
I just wasn’t listening. At this point in my life I don’t know many things,
but I can promise you this — You are loved completely.