No Say

I never wanted this grow up.
become what they call a m.a.n.
chose and decide.
so I started out playing games with both,
me and them.
‘cause everyone’s due to keep up with the others.
due to find a part
to play within that huge comedy or drama.
whatever.
I’ve played them all for years,
but all of a sudden,
everything changed and I began to fall.
the hard and endless fall of someone
who had the pleasure to meet
self-determinations younger brothers.
ahm, let’s say self-deception and self-destruction.
I got lost after not knowing,
after not knowing who I ought to be.
I left it all behind,
moved houses,
changed the city and fell asleep
for one and a half years…