You. . . Win!

My name’s Stacey
Where are you from Stacey?
I’m from Essex
Stacey from Essex, and Stacey what do you do in Essex?
I’m a receptionist
And what have you achieved today?
Erm, nothing
Correct
Well done, you win a crippling sense of disappointment and a general lingering
malaise
Oh great
Do you really mean that?
No
You disingenuous drone
I like X Factor
Thank you for playing I Have Achieved Nothing which hasn’t achieved anything,
coming up next-