A Lancashire DJ

Oh, I’m a DJ and I’ll make you dance
Wi' a little bit o' techno, a little bit of trance
Play anything that you like
From Eric Prydz to Paul van Dyk
Got two turntables and a microphone
I’ll play some house for your Aunty Joan
I know just how fert rock the place
Wi' a little bit of hardcore drum and bass
In '88 I were on a bender
I ended up in the Hacienda
The summer of love you had to be there
It were all house music, smileys and flares
I danced so hard, I split me keks
The very next day I bought some decks
And ever since that fateful day I’ve been a Lancashire DJ
Oh, I’m a DJ and I’ll make you dance
Wi' a little bit o' techno, a little bit of trance
Play anything that you like
From Eric Prydz to Paul van Dyk
Got two turntables and a microphone
I’ll play some house for your Aunty Joan
I know just how fert rock the place
Wi' a little bit of hardcore drum and bass
Now while the wife is baking cakes
I’m at the Labour club playing breaks
Every Tuesday at the old folks home
I play ‘em mashups and they never moan
I sometimes go down to the vets
For a four hour techno set
I’ve got a PA from me Uncle Harry
We’ll have a midnight rave at the Cash & Carry
Oh, I’m a DJ and I’ll make you dance
Wi' a little bit o' techno, a little bit of trance
Play anything that you like
From Eric Prydz to Paul van Dyk
Got two turntables and a microphone
I’ll play some house for your Aunty Joan
I know just how fert rock the place
Wi' a little bit of hardcore drum and bass
Well, I’m always asked for requests
I ‘ant always got ‘em but I do me best
Me Aunty Mable loves KLF
But I ‘aft play it loud 'cos she’s half deaf
Daft Punk are the favourites of Mr. Patel
But he’ll listen to a little bit of Faithless as well
I nearly give me Grandma a heart attack
When I crank up the hits from the Basement Jaxx
Oh, I’m a DJ and I’ll make you dance
Wi' a little bit o' techno, a little bit of trance
Play anything that you like
From Eric Prydz to Paul van Dyk
Got two turntables and a microphone
I’ll play some house for your Aunty Joan
I know just how fert rock the place
Wi' a little bit of hardcore drum and bass
Vinyl? It’s not even CD anymore got it on MP3