Twisted Dream

Struggling to open my eyes
The feeling I’ve long despised
Desperately feeling the walls come crumbling down
I played the game and held this back
I always feared my will would crack
And the shame would fit me like a perfect crown
The shame I felt
I buried it deep inside
Consuming me
How can I breathe?
How can I see an end when regret consumes and overloads my mind?
How can I move?
How can I start again when these
visions haunt me like a twisted dream?
Wearing the past like a weight
Keeping me held in this state
Relapses hitting me one by one in line
I’ve reached the point of no return
I always thought my heart would learn
To fight the urge to drag me down another time
The pain I felt
It’s all rushing back to me
It just won’t end
How can I breathe?
How can I see an end when regret consumes and overloads my mind?
How can I move?
How can I start again when these
visions haunt me like a twisted dream?
(Thought I’d conquered)
The deafening silence
The ticking of the clock
(Mind it wanders)
Back and forth
Between what’s real or not
(Pain it hurt me)
Over and over
I’m feeling it flooding back
(Over and over and over again)
Pulling me under again
And now it haunts me in my dreams
(Dreams and nightmares)
Nothing’s really ever as it seems
(Seems it should be)
I thought I put it all to rest
(All to rest now)
But now it’s taken me over again
How can I breathe?
How can I see an end when regret consumes and overloads my mind?
How can I move?
How can I start again when these
visions haunt me like a twisted dream?