If Momma Was Married

If Momma was married
We’d live in a house
As private as private can be
Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse
Two monkeys, one father, six turtles
And me…
If Momma was married
If Momma was married
I’d jump in the air
And give all my toe shoes to you
I’d get all those hair ribbons
Out of my hair
And once and for all
I’d get Momma out too…
If Momma was married
Momma, get out your white dress
You’ve done it before
Without much success!
Momma, Godspeed and God bless
We’re not keeping score
What’s one more or less?
Oh, Momma, say yes
And waltz down the aisle
While you may
I’ll gladly support you
I’ll even escort you…
And I’ll gladly give you away
Oh, Momma, get married today!
If Momma was married there wouldn’t be any more
«Let me entertain you, let me make you smile!
I will do some kicks!»
«I will do some tricks!»
Sing out, Louise!
[LOUISE
Smile, baby!
Momma, please take our advice
We aren’t The Lunts
I’m not Fanny Brice
Momma, we’ll buy you the rice
If only this once
You wouldn’t think twice
It could be so nice
If Momma got married to stay
But Momma gets married
And…
Married
And…
Married
And never gets carried away
Oh, Momma…
Oh, Momma…
Oh, Momma…
Get married today!