March 19th

Helen, all night,
I can’t sleep through the pain.
But when I can I’m dreaming, of pacing around for days.
Strip the crutches, am I floating?
Are we adrift upon the sea?
Without wind or direction, the currents will carry me.
Capsized this body, now it’s breaking up.
Here’s how I go, just don’t do much.
Let me die not a burden.
Let the birds sing my name.
From this vessel on the hill.
No more pills and no more pain.
I’m in the lights you see, that will flicker at night.
The steps you heard in the hallway were mine
what I wanted to say, «it'll be alright.» «I'm at your side.»
Capsized this body, now it’s breaking up.
Here’s how I go, just don’t do much.
Give all my things to the ones I love.
Meet me here in the hole we dug.
Capsized this body, now it’s breaking up.