A Million Times

Doing it alone
Made it something I didn’t want it to be
And now I’m stuck in a habit of misery
When I think of what I should have done differently
To the people around me
I know I’ve said a million times
That I’m fine
But I lied
Constantly
To the people around me
A million times
«I wish you’d all just admit
That you’d be better off
If I didn’t exist»
It seemed like a rational thought
Even between the lines
I’m the only one
Counting the times