Pretend Friend

This is my pretend friend
Treat him with kindness
Take her wherever I go
Just so thereЂ™s someone I know
HeЂ™s made of plastic
So she wonЂ™t talk back
He is a good friend
Because sheЂ™s pretend
Pretend
This is my pretend friend
She is my witness
HeЂ™s filled her head the facts of my unspeakable acts
HeЂ™ll talk for hours she never sours
He is a good friend she doesnЂ™t offend
O-offend doesnЂ™t offend
This is my pretend friend
She fakes it so well
I fuck him every night and brag about it
But then itЂ™s quite true that I donЂ™t like you
You are a good friend because you are pretend
Pretend (x4)