You Were Not There

I took a turn so harsh and mean
I was confused at how to be
It was a normal time for you
But such an awkward time for me
And now I’m sitting, blinking, feeling, watching, spinning out of my control
It came through rumbling down on me
Before I had a chance to think
There’s nothing else for me to do
But to embrace it at the speed of — heart is pounding, mind is racing,
eyes are rolling, everything went dark
Rolling, tumbling, rushing through to do enough
Fumbling, clumsily trying to keep up
It’s getting close enough to see
And I can hear it taunting me
It’s something bigger than I am
It’s saying catch me if you can
And for some reason I just really, really, think I can
You were nowhere to be found
You were not there
You were just there, now you’re gone
You must not care
I was not so upset that you were not there
It was about time to realize you did not care