The Rise and Fall of Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins III

SIR WILFRED
I will not be imprisoned with the ordinary rabble,
I am Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins,
The Third,
I’ve no loyalty or love to those buffoons within my cabal,
It’s no time for delay or lollygagging --
WAFFLE
My word!
SIR WILFRED
Gaah! The Waffle!
WAFFLE
You’re the fellow who attacked me with this
Robot, which then sent me
A million light-years from my planet!
SIR WILFRED
Get away!
WAFFLE
But now I’ve got the controls, and I was
Wondering if it went the other
Way if I reverse and then I jam it?
SIR WILFRED
NOOO --
SIR WILFRED
-- GUH! What -- where --
PIRATES
Yo ho! On we go!
Way hey! All the way!
Yo ho! On with the show!
Way hey! A slaughter today!
SIR WILFRED
Ahoy! Ahoy there!
PIRATE CAPTAIN
Look, mates! Another one!
And who be ye?
SIR WILFRED
I am Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins the Third!
PIRATES
You believe it? 'Ere, he’s royalty! Now what’s the chance? Absurd!
PIRATE CAPTAIN
Well, I wonder if she’d like ya deep-fried, scrambled, poached, or shirred…