i swear to ***

I swear to God that I love the pain
I sweared to God and he cursed my brain
I can’t control that I feel this way
I can’t control the rotten words you say
Why the fuck do women lie? Why the fuck do men kill?
Why have I lost so many friends overdosing on pills?
I’d do anything in the world to once actually feel
Tried to kill myself already so I’d know this life’s real
I’m too fucked in the head
She fucked me tied to the bed
I wish I could run away and never come back
And if I disappeared, would you move on and laugh?
(Would you laugh at me?)
I swear to God that I love the pain
I sweared to God and he cursed my brain
I can’t control that I feel this way
I can’t control the rotten words you say
I’m breathing, I’m moving
My cries are too soothing
Your favorite sound
I tremble when you come around