Slightly Irresponsible

I am slightly irresponsible
Girl, don’t let that scare you away
'Cause I am still reliable
Just not a hundred percent, baby
Sometimes I fall asleep without brushing my teeth
And I only floss approximately twice a week
I don’t return phone calls all the time
Unless it’s my boss, I want to stay on his good side
I always pay my credit cards on time
But irresponsibly I’d make minimum payments once in a while
Also I think I may have accidentally killed someone
I’m not sure if they died, it was a hit’n’run
I am slightly irresponsible
Girl, don’t let that scare you away
'Cause I am still reliable
Just not a hundred percent, baby
When I park my car, sometimes I leave the windows open
That’s how I got my Blackberry charger stolen
But I didn’t really care, I had a second one
That my friend gave me when he bought his iPhone last month
I’m glad no one’s noticed the dent in my front bumper
When I got home that night there was blood all over
And in the grille there were bits of face, hair and bone
I cleaned the car when made sure nobody followed me home
I am slightly irresponsible
I wonder if that person had a family
But I am still reliable
But the guilt’s eating away at me
Sometimes I’m a day late paying my rent
And sometimes I forget the birthdays of my friends
Apparently they don’t have any suspects thus far
But they know he was killed by a Camry, luckily for me that’s a common car
But there was one witness: a seventy-nine-year-old lady
I need to kill her, she’s the only one who can identify me
So I break into her house to kill her, but then things get messy
I didn’t realize that her son’s family was visiting
I am slightly irresponsible
(Ah shit)(Hey, who the fuck are you?)
But I am still reliable
(Shut the fuck up)
I am slightly irresponsible
(SHUT UP! SHUT UP!)
But I am still reliable
(What have I done? What have I done? Oh my god, what have I done?)