Earn Your Happy Ending

Mum and Dad said I could call any time
But they forget I only think about my troubles at night
It don’t feel right
Calling at 3am looking for solace in figures
To which I owe my birthright
I stayed light, weight
I never touched a pipe or smoked a gram of haze
Only taking pills that the doctor gave
Get my head straight
Before I flip the script the pharmacist saved
Keep it on reserve in case I have a few bad days
But where your friends on the real bad days?
I throw out muffled messages and this is what they say
They tell me I’m a good person but I never believe ‘em
Cause every time I open up my mouth they end up leaving
It ain’t their fault though I can tell they’re worried
Scared they will set me off and all they can do is say sorry
But apologies just make me feel guilty and shudder
Drowning in my bed blocking out the sun with the covers
Flip my switch from hot to cold because I can’t do it myself
Knock on my front door if you need a connection to my head
I can try to write my own plot line but I can never reach the end
I’ll earn my happy ending blinking back tears in front of friends
Yuh, it’s a 24/7 9 to 5 job
Keeping my eyes forward when you implore that I should relax more
I follow ideas that my therapist gave
Sit cross legged on the beach stare out into space
Square breathing 20 second cycles
This ain’t the life I imagined living
When I was ten looking up to Michael
Rough seas on a good day, nautical bliss
I wish when every thought is a rogue wave post haste
Flip my switch from hot to cold because I can’t do it myself
Knock on my front door if you need a connection to my head
I can try to write my own plot line but I can never reach the end
I’ll earn my happy ending blinking back tears in front of friends
Bridge:
Somehow
Somewhere
It’s alright
It’s all bright
Sometimes
It’s too much
Through dark nights
I feel life
Flip my switch from hot to cold because I can’t do it myself
Knock on my front door if you need a connection to my head
I can try to write my own plot line but I can never reach the end
I’ll earn my happy ending blinking back tears in front of friends