I Want to Takeoff From a Carrier

I wanna take off from a carrier
Someday before I die
Strap that Viper to a catapult
And watch that sucker fly
Two hundred knots in under two seconds
That’s my kind of fun
Do a barrel roll right after takeoff
Just like in Top Gun
But I don’t
Wanna land
Allow me to explain
And you’ll understand
'Cause it ain’t about the landing
Why would I care?
You never have a crosswind
And you never have to flare
You got four fuckin' wires
How could you miss?
I can’t think of anything
That’s easier than this
Though once you’re on the deck, my friend
You’re never the same again
'Cause you’re stuck on a boat
In the middle of nowhere
With five thousand other men
Join the Navy?
I don’t think so
Livin' on a boat
I don’t think so
Hot bunkin'
Yeah, I don’t think so
Do a night trap? Fuck that
I don’t think so
Sure, I thought about the Navy
But decided to pass
I love my five-star hotels
And per diem out the ass
I do all of my fighting
Well within the shore
Cable TV and cappucinos
That’s the way you fight a war
This spoiled life
It can grow old
When the coffee ain’t fresh…
The sheets ain’t soft…
And the beer is only somewhat cold