Hate Your Guts

When I was 17, I wished I was 23
When I hit 23, I wished I was 17
Now I’m almost 29, I wish I was 85
It’ll be statistically unlikely you’d be alive
Because I hate your guts
Shit, I hate you so much
I hope you suffer a small paper cut
I hope your boss makes you stay for a half hour more
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn’t love you anymore
I hate the way you breathe
The stupid way you sneeze
How does everything you eat
End up stuck in your teeth?
The way you steal my sheets when we go to bed
As I death stare a hole in the back of your head
Because I hate your guts
Shit, I hate you so much
I hope the battery dies on your phone
I hope your favourite TV show fails to record
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn’t love you anymore
Wish I didn’t love you, woah
Wish I didn’t love you, woah
Wish I didn’t love you, woah
I hope when I’m out on tour
You lose your keys to the door
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn’t love you anymore
Wish I didn’t love you, woah
Wish I didn’t love you, woah
Wish I didn’t love you, woah
So you must be mistaken if you wanna date me
You’d be more respected if you were to hate me
There’s so many warnings you choose to ignore
Because I hate your guts
And I wish I didn’t love you anymore
I hate your guts!