Down in Amsterdam

When I woke up this morning
My watch said half past noon
A pretty Amsterdamsel
Fed me berries with a spoon
I washed my hair and combed my face
And it was time to go
But I had missed the limousine
Because I packed too slow
I’m down in Amsterdam
Nobody knows my name
I don’t speak much
Not a word of Dutch
I’ve got to catch my plane
I jumped into my rent-a-car
Apologies to Hertz
I couldn’t get it started
And I couldn’t find reverse
I finally got it rolling
Took off like Graham Hill
But it soon ceased to function
Cause the gas tank wasn’t filled
I’m down in Amsterdam
Nobody knows my name
I don’t speak much
Not a word of Dutch
I’ve got to catch my plane
I was dragging all my luggage
Down the Amsterdam highway
Stuck out my thumb to hitch a ride
And everybody waved
I finally flagged a Citroen
And headed for the port
When I got to Lufthansa
They were closing up the door
I’m down in Amsterdam
Nobody knows my name
I don’t speak much
Not a word of Dutch
I’ve got to catch my plane