If I Had One

Jackknife, brake at the traffic stop
Interstate looking' like a parking' lot
Fat boy flying on a Fat Boy bike
Weaving' in and out and passing' me by
I honked my horn and shot the bird at that crazy SOB
Yeah, but deep down, I was wishing' it was me
But if I had one, I’d have to say
I’d probably do the same dang thing
Pull her to the shoulder and let that steel horse run
I’d be hell on wheels if I had one
Called my brother said, «How you’ve been?
We ain’t been fishing' since I don’t know when»
He said, «This graveyard shift’s a graveyard grind
I got more bills than I got time»
I’d love to weigh the line but my wife just stay on my case
I said «I guess I know who wears the pants around your place»
But if I had one, I’d have to say
I’d probably do the same dang thing
Pull her to the shoulder and let that steel horse run
I’d be hell on wheels if I had one
Sitting' on a bar stool talking' to a lady
She’s running' my tab up, calling' me baby
Buy her a drink she’ll let you chase her
And watch her shake her money maker
Boy if I had one I’d have to say
I’d probably shake it the same damn way
Hike it up high 'cause I could get it, son
I’d never buy another beer if I had one
You know things would be different if I had one
That’s what I’d do if I had one of those
I’d do it just like that, right there
Things would be different if I had one, too
But I don’t, but if I had one, yeah buddy, ooh buddy