A Lifetime Later

A dam that is so strong that it can make a river seem weak,
You never get the kind of trickle that could start a flood just the kind that
could start a leak,
And a lifetime later you find (from the vivid nothingness) you’re still in
limbo,
And the only thing you can really explain is the truth of what you don’t know.
I am here and I am now that’s the only lesson I can pass to you,
Pettiness can play so dear in a man’s life; just the brute sum of what you do,
I spent the moment’s monies on the why of it all when I should have studied the
math of how,
Because I am the only human-being that will ever be right here; right now.
Oh my information; oh the information of me,
Will it be in my lost particles or gathered in the soul of me.
I know the meat of a starving-artist is good food for a hungry-critic,
Though the ergonomics of this appetite are strictly analytic,
I am butchered and bakered but I bear my cross and walk my lord,
I live by the soul’s surrender: the god content the beautiful things I can’t
afford.
A lifetime later here I stand my fall to be a not to be,
Still forging thru the dog-shit duties to make the glorified guts of me,
Still a negative number in search of the divine integer that solves my divided
self,
To be fitted in the book of ages but not fitted on the shelf.