Baby's First Sideburns

I’ll push it out without a doubt
I’m laughing in the face of DNA
Bloom a little late but that’s OK
I’m gonna get it
You’re 28, baby-face
Legally a man but that don’t mean
You’re gonna be a facial hair machine
There, I said it
Don’t quit your day-hair, kid
Time warp, it’s been a year
I’m a buff, masculine shadow of my former self
Things are gonna change around
Things are gonna be different
Bullshit
This is by far my weakest achievement