You Win

When it’s time to go to sleep I wonder which one I will fight
Which torment will attack on any given night
The first will come and get me and force me to believe
That there really ain’t a place for anyone like me
Or will it be those voices asking «why can’t I succeed?»
Until the indignation burns so bad, my knuckles start to bleed
And the doubt comes on like drowning, until I can’t get a breath
The desire’s like some heart attack that never lets me rest
You win, you win
If it’s gonna hurt this much… you win
Now I don’t even care
I just wanted to be there
And the cool kids took the game away
Now I don’t even want to play
You win… I hate this stuff
I slip into a party and I hope no one can tell
What I’m really like or how I’m really scared as hell
Somewhere, out of nowhere, my confidence comes back
And that little red caboose just starts to work that old smokestack
Ah, but I still hear these voices asking «who are you trying to be?»
And my reservations kick my ass until I have no idea
And the doubt comes on like drowning, until I can’t get a breath
The desire’s like some heart attack that never lets me rest