Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal

Citalopram, citalopram!
Take once a day
Fluoxetine, fluoxetine
Paroxetine, paroxetine
Citalopram, citalopram
May cause dry mouth
From the moment that we learn to walk and speak
Our parents tell us everyone’s unique
Now, I’m not saying that advice is bad
But honey, you’re not special 'cause you’re sad
Not special, no you’re not
The butcher, the baker, the grocery clerk
They’re all on 20 milligrams or so
The movers
The shakers
The happy homemaker
You’d be surprised how many of them you know
Anti-depressants are so not a big deal
Big whoop, you’re on an anti-depressant
Sweet cheeks, here’s the deal
Welcome to the club with open admission
You’re cast in the play that has no audition
Yes, everyone is special, that’s usually the sitch
But when it comes to meds, you’re such a basic bitch
I lost my job and for six months, I couldn’t leave my bed, yeah!
When my husband died, I stopped bathing and watched Christian TV instead, ooh!
Now we’re on pills and it’s less of a slog
Just ask any abused rescue dog
The origins of life are messy and imprecise
We’re all the result of natural selection
True! So why should I feel crappy
About something that makes me happy?
Though it may be hard to maintain an erection
Maybe you should adjust your dosage!
I already tried that, didn’t work
Have you tried another medication?
Yep, but that one made me gain weight
Oh, that totally happened to me. It got better within a few months
Thanks, cool!
Anti-depressants are so not a big deal
Big whoop, you’re on an anti-depressant
Take two with or without a meal
Fluoxetine, fluoxetine
Paroxetine, paroxetine
Our lawyers won’t let us say brand names
Anti-depressants are so not a big deal
Big whoop, you’re on an anti-depressant
Connor, heel!
Some cry that in the past, we didn’t medicate everyone
Cool, witch trials and the Crusades sound like so much fun
Anti-depressants are so common
That taking them is all we have in common