Romance Is Boring

Darling, I’m with St. Bernards
And we are scouring the Alps and the Andes
And if they die then it is on my head
They follow paw prints in the snow to my throne, to my bed
You’re pouting in your sleep, I’m waking still yawning
We’re proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring
Start as you mean to continue
Complacent and self-involved
You’re trying not to be nervous
If you were trying at all
I will wake, I will bake phallic cake
Take your diffidence, make it my clubhouse
But my strength’s within lies, ventricle cauterised
It’s the way of living that I espouse
You’re pouting in your sleep, I’m waking still yawning
We’re proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring
We are two ships that pass in the night
You and I, we are nothing alike
I am a pleasure cruise, you are gone out to trawl
Return nets empty, nothing at all
You’re pouting in your sleep, I’m waking still yawning
We’re proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring