Too Late the Hero

I got a message from a girl in distress,
She was a prisoner in an apartment address.
But like a hero to the scene of the crime,
I lost my way and there was so little time.
Stood at a bus stop on a cold rainy day,
Tire through a puddle, threw some mud in my face.
No bus arrived so I just crawled into town,
I took my chances on the underground.
Subway station, wall to wall people, I couldn’t squeeze onto a train.
In desperation, I looked for a taxi, but, oh, the searching was in vain.
Too late the hero, from ten down to zero.
Too late the hero, why did she say, «Boy, boy you’re way too late!»?
She said «Boy, boy you’re way too late!»
I caught a train but there was nowhere to sit,
Reached for a strap, I thought I heard something rip,
There on the Central Line, my pants fell apart.
Train broke down and we were stuck in the dark.
Subway tunnel claustrophobia, best suit, wrinkled and damp,
Finally when I crawled up to her door, she said, «Goodbye chump!»
Too late the hero, from ten down to zero.
Too late the hero, why did she say, «Boy, boy you’re way too late!»?
She said «Boy, boy you’re way too late!»
Did I see someone in the shadow? Did I hear footsteps on the floor?
Did I hear laughter in the background just before she slammed that door?
I turned around and I headed home, I was tired, rejected and cold.
Missed the last train, left around midnight, so I walked that lonesome road.
Too late the hero, from ten down to zero.
Too late the hero, why did she say, «Boy, boy you’re way too late!»?
She said «Boy, boy you’re way too late!»
(Too late, too late the hero) Way too late.
(Too late, too late the hero) Way too late.
(Too late, too late the hero) Way too late,
Too late hey hey hey…