U.S.P.S.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen
We, A Gun That Shoots Knives, are pleased to bring you this performance
Through the magic of the compact disc
This song goes out to all those brave men and women in uniform out there
You know who you are…
I am your US mailman
I do what I can
To bring the mail to you
Because it’s true
Aw, you got to know it’s true
It’s all I know how to do
And I won’t shake it
And I won’t break it
I’ll just bring it right to your door
'Cuz what could be more important?
I’ll lay it on the floor
Of your apartment
I don’t mean to boast
But we’re the most
Efficient postal system in the world
We’ve got the tightest curls
And the cutest girls
In the whole goddamned world
Fuck UPS
Fuck Federal Express
Go USPS
For all your parcel delivery needs
'Cuz we’re the best
In any part of the country
I am your US mailman
I do what I can
To bring the mail to you
Because it’s true
Aw, you know it’s true
It’s all I know how to do
And I won’t shake it
And I won’t break it
I’ll just bring it right to your door
'Cuz what could be more important?
I’ll lay it on the floor
Of your apartment
Fuck UPS
Fuck Federal Express
'Cuz we’re the best
We’re the USPS