The You I Created

It’s hard to know exactly
When my dreams got weird
I tense up and get antsy when you’re near
But nightly you appear to me
Ghostly in my head
But I never can remember what you said
It must be something reassuring
Something sweet and kind
Something you would never say in real life
Where does it go in the morning?
It slipped out of my hand
Eating breakfast with my other thoughts
Away from wakeful lands
Where is the you I created?
The you that I adore?
When my eyes are open I don’t see you anymore
It’s hard for me to fathom
That you disappeared
And turned into exactly what I feared
But every night you sing to me
When my eyes are closed
But I never can remember how it goes
It must be something undeserving
Only in my mind
Something you would never sing on your time
It disappears without warning
It shifts like grains of sand
Galavanting with some other dreams
I didn’t understand
Where is the you I created?
The you that I adore?
When my eyes are open I don’t see you anymore
But nightly you appear to me
Ghostly in my head
But I never can remember what you said