Dilemma

I’m schizophrenic hearing voices in my head
Been talking with the dead
So it don’t matter what you said
Some things will never change
Just put me in the grave
Since age is Thirteen been a screwed up
Got a problem with my life, make a new cut
My mother screaming as I try jumping out the whip
My brother crying, cause the older brother loosin it
Throw me to the mental hospital, Saint Luis
Force fed, pills stare that was almost my youth
At the young age I always picked on, beat up
Kicked in the face always stepped on
People always laughing at the reject
Became the funny guy and gain you respect
At Eighteen alcohol became my best friend
And in no time I was back in the ward again
Twenty three and I still feel like giving up
Malcom really sorry that we didn’t get the talk enough
I was too hard headed till that day came
You may be gone, but your memory will still remain
My whole life I just wanted to die
Been tryin to kill myself since the age nine
Why is happiness is so hard to find
And how can suicide ever crossed my mind?
Time after time I wanna cock the nine
Blow my brains out, and leave my troubles behind
I’m blind to the fact that everybody hates me
Even my own mother thinks that I’m crazy
But ain’t no fucking pill gonna save me
I bring back whats left of my sanity
I see your envy has made you an enemy
With the devil face, and a heart full of jelousy
So here I walk down this road
Cold and alone with no place to call home
I quess I’m on my own but I did it to myself
Maybe these pills will start to help