The Backson Song

Owl:
It’s a giant creature with a tail
Here, I’ll draw Piglet in for scale
Piglet:
Oh dear!
Owl:
Its hide is like a shaggy rug
Its face, a surly, ugly mug
With two sharp horns atop its head
Between — a mop of hair — that’s red!
Everyone Else:
(Gasps)
Owl:
And in its nose, a ring of gold
It smells of monkeys' feet and mold!
Its toes are black! Its fur is blue!
I swear that all I tell you is not made up!
The Backson!
Everyone Else:
The Backson?
Owl:
The Backson!
Everyone Else:
The Backson!
Oh no!
Pooh:
But Owl, what does a Backson do?
Everyone Else:
Yes Owl, what does a Backson do?
Owl:
Hmmm… what does a backson do?
I’m thinking, I’m thinking, I’m thinking, I’m thinking
And now I will tell you!
They sneak into your library
And scribble in all your books!
Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We don’t like the Backson!
Owl:
When decorating your Christmas tree
They tangle up all the hooks!
Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We’re afraid of the Backson!
Owl:
They spoil the milk!
They stop all the clocks!
They use their horns to put holes in your socks!
Everyone Else:
The Backson’s the one who’s been putting holes in our socks!
Roo:
Tell us more about what Backsons do!
Tigger:
Yes more about what Backsons do!
Owl:
More about what Backsons do?
Why don’t we hear some thoughts from you?
Tigger:
Maybe they make you sleep too late?
Owl:
Yes. Yes! That’s good. That’s great!
Eeyore:
I bet they’re the reason my tail is gone
Owl:
You’re on a roll! Go on! Go on!
Rabbit:
They muddy up your tidy house!
Piglet:
They make you feel as small as a mouse!
Roo:
They break your crayons!
Rabbit:
They spill your tea!
Kanga:
They wake up babies at one and three!
Eeyore:
They made me catch the cold I caught
Pooh:
They made me lose my train of thought
Tigger:
They swipe your stripes!
Piglet:
They clog your pipes!
Rabbit:
They dig up your garden!
Eeyore:
They won’t beg your pardon
Pooh:
They eat your snacks!
Piglet:
They won’t relax!
Rabbit:
They chip your tooth!
Kanga:
They steal your youth!
Owl:
And now you know the horrible truth!
All:
The Backson! The Backson!
The Backson! The Backson!
Oh no!
Rabbit:
Oh yes!
Everybody Else:
Huh?
Rabbit:
I know exactly what to do
We’ll find things Backson are partial to
Pooh:
Like books?
Kanga:
And dishes?
Piglet:
And socks?
Roo:
And toys!
Rabbit:
Yes! Everything that a Backson destroys
Then we’ll dig an enormous pit
And he’ll make the items lead to it
He’ll fall in and we’ll get our friend!
Owl:
And the horrible nightmare can come to an end!
The Backson!
All:
The Backson!
Owl:
The Backson!
All:
The Backson!
Owl:
Go home and search your closets!
Bring everything that you can!
Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We’re gonna catch the Backson!
Owl:
We’ll save Christopher Robin
By following Rabbit’s plan!
Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We’ll save Christopher Robin!
We must be brave and have no fear!
Owl:
So to the death we’ll persevere!!!
Everyone Else:
We’ll search by the sun and the light of the moon
And if everything goes well
We’ll be back soon!
Owl:
Back soon…
Everyone Else:
Back soon!
Owl:
Sounds like Backson
Everyone Else:
Back soon!
Owl:
Oh well. Good luck everyone!