LOCKSTOCK: Well, hello there. And welcome — to Urinetown!
Not the place, of course. The musical.
Urinetown «the place» is… well, it’s a place you’ll hear people referring to a
lot throughout the show.
PENNY: You hear the news? They carted Old So-and-So off to Urinetown the other
day.
BOBBY: Is that so? What he do?
PENNY: Oh, such-and-such, I hear.
BOBBY: Well, what do you know? Old So-and-So.
(BOBBY and PENNY set up their workstation, placing the table beside the
entrance to the amenity as THE POOR begin to rise.)
LOCKSTOCK: It’s kind of a mythical place, you understand. A bad place.
A place you won’t
see until Act Two. And then??? Well, let’s just say it’s filled with symbolism
and things like that.
(THE POOR sing the «Urinetown» theme on an «ooh» ever so softly as they prepare
for another day. LITTLE SALLY enters, counting her pennies.)
LOCKSTOCK: But Urinetown «the musical,» well, here we are. Welcome.
It takes place in a
town, like any town… that you might find in a musical. This here’s the first
setting for the show. As the sign says, it’s a «public amenity,»
meaning public toilet. These people have been waiting for hours to get in;
it’s the only amenity they can afford to get into.
(LITTLE SALLY approaches LOCKSTOCK)
LITTLE SALLY: Say, Officer Lockstock, is this where you tell the audience about
the water
shortage?
LOCKSTOCK: What’s that, Little Sally?
LITTLE SALLY: You know, that water shortage. The hard times. The drought.
A shortage so
awful that private toilets eventually became unthinkable. A premise so absurd
that —
LOCKSTOCK: Whoa there, Little Sally. Not all at once. They’ll hear more about
the water
shortage in the next scene.
LITTLE SALLY: Oh. I guess you don’t want to overload them with too much
exposition, huh?
LOCKSTOCK: Everything in its time, Little Sally. You’re too young to understand
it now, but
nothing can kill a show like too much exposition.
LITTLE SALLY: How about bad subject matter?
LOCKSTOCK: Well —
LITTLE SALLY: Or a bad title, even? That could kill a show pretty good.
LOCKSTOCK: Well, Little Sally, suffice it to say that in Urinetown (the
musical) everyone has
to use public bathrooms in order to take care of their private business.
That’s the central conceit of the showww! (He sings.)